Choices with Miharu's Thoughts
by Detective Yoite
Summary: Episode 6 of the anime or chapter 10 of the manga with what I think Miharu's thoughts would have been. This is a mix between the anime and manga. Warnings are the same as they would be for the anime or manga. Future QP Miharu and Yoite


I could hear Raimei and Kouichi bickering behind me, but chose not to pay attention. This assignment was due tomorrow and it was my normal time for working on homework. I wasn't going to let this this ninja stuff disrupt my normal life. I didn't even want to be involved. I was almost done with the assignment, just struggling with spelling on the last problem when. I noticed that Raimei and Kouichi had gone oddly silent. Then shiratama, who was sitting on the desk, hissed at something behind me.

"Good evening." I recognized that voice. I had heard it before, back in the Fuuma village. "Come with me."

Yoite grabbed my arm, seeming planning on dragging me to the door.

'Am I being kidnapped?' That was a foolish question. Obviously, I was. This was a bad time!

"Wait!" I stopped walking. "I need to finish my homework first." I stared at him, hoping that there wouldn't be repercussions for this outburst.

He stared back at me for a while, which felt longer than it was. "Hurry up," he answered eventually.

I nodded and went back to work while Yoite watched over my shoulder.

When I finished, Yoite asked, "Are you done?"

"Yeah."

Yoite grabbed my arm again and we left. 'Oh yeah. Raimei and Kouichi.'

"Are Raimei and Kouichi okay?" I asked.

Yoite glanced at me, then away again. "I just knocked them out."

"Okay."

We walked in silence for a while.

I suddenly remembered what Tobari-sensei had said about the Kira technique. That it would eventually kill him I wanted to bring it up, but also didn't.

"Yoite… Tobari-sensei said that the Kira technique would eventually kill you… Are you really willing to die for the Kairoushuu?"

"I am not alive, and therefore cannot die."

I sort of understood, but sort of didn't.

After a few more minutes of walking, Yoite announced "We're here."

It was a broken train.

"Go ahead and have a seat, but be careful, there might be snakes."

I looked around, partly to just see what was there, partly to find exits. There was some bamboo. I commented on it, still looking around. The only usable door was the one we'd come in through, but most of the windows didn't have glass. It would be a bit of a fall from the window to the ground, but it would be doable.

"So when are the other Kairoushuu coming?" I asked, sounding bored.

"This has nothing to do with them," Yoite assured me. "I wanted to talk to you one on one."

Now I was confused. Was he betraying the Kairoushuu? Why would he do that? If he was giving up his life force for them, then why would he betray them? It wasn't like I could really run away, so I sat.

"I want you to grant my wish," Yoite said. "I want you to change thing so that I'd never been born. You're better off not knowing the reason."

That was a surprise. But even if I wanted to, I couldn't. When I tried to tell Yamase-sensei that, he thought I was refusing. How could I explain… "I can't use it yet," I began. "When I try, my head gets flooded with all this information and I can't do anything." The memory of the first time rose up. All the 'wisdom' as the Fairy called it, so much that the outside world felt far away. Like I wasn't connected to it. My thoughts got lost in the information until it was hard to tell where "I" ended and "the shinrabanshou" began. If I stayed that way too long, I was sure I wouldn't be the same. It hurt. "It feels like my head is going to explode. I have to train myself to become stronger."

"After that you'll be able to use the hijutsu. What do you want to do with it?"

Remembering the feeling of being lost in information, I responded more strongly than I intended to. "I don't want it. I just want to go back to my old life." I didn't want to be involved in a ninja war. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go to high school. Grandma thought I should, but I didn't need it to work at her restaurant. I didn't need to be involved with nabari.

"As the one who holds the Shinrabanshou, you are allowed to use it's power. Why would you not want to?" Yoite asked. It seemed like more of a challenge than a question.

"Tobari-sensei told me that people are not allowed to change the laws of the universe. I don't want to change something." That was the easy answer. And not very true.

"The world is damaged by people enough, anyway."

"I don't see what that has to do with me." Just because other people destroyed things didn't me I did, too. I wanted to leave as small of a mark on the world as possible.

"You really are apathetic. Isn't there anyone you care about? Do you not feel love for anyone or anything? You just let the world do as it will without caring? Is that really your philosophy on life?"

"I made a promise." I said, immediately. A promise? I did didn't I.

"A promise? With who?" Yoite asked, sounding mildly surprised.

Who was it? I couldn't remember.

Evidently I had spoken aloud, because Yoite spoke again. "I don't see how you can keep a promise when you don't remember who it was to." He stood and walked over. I suddenly felt very small. And scared. I'd been scared the whole time, of course. I'd seen this person give Tobari-sensei a concussion and break Kouichi's arm with a gesture, but that had been in the back of my mind. Now he was standing much closer, threateningly, and I remembered who it was I was talking to.

"It's sad that you only listen to what other people tell you. You should care about yourself more and act however you feel is right. You must learn to control the Shinrabanshou. And you must do it for my sake." Yoite glared at me with that statement.

'How was I going to get out of this? I didn't think that my mist veil technique would be much use here, and I didn't really know how to do anything else. I could try to just run, but in this position, I couldn't get far, especially with Yoite's Kira technique. I could wait for a distraction, but I didn't really know my way back and didn't know anywhere safe to go, at any rate. Tobari-sensei was away and couldn't beat Yoite before, anyway…'

"If you are unwilling to help, then give it to me," Yoite added.

"You can't take the Shinrabanshou by force. It will only move on to someone else." I'd been told that enough times to remember.

"The Fuma are trying to find a way to take it out of you, aren't they?" He asked. "They're trying to create a technique to remove the hijutsu so you can go on with your apathetic life."

"Even if they do get it out of me, it'll just go into some else and then they'll be in danger of dying."

There was a sound like a footstep. Had someone found us? I looked to the noise quickly. 'Yamase-sensei?' Had Yoite lied about not bringing the other Kairoushuu into this? A glance at him told me that, no, he was not expecting Yamase-sensei, either. Maybe I could use this as a distraction? But again, I still had no safe place to go.

"You look pale, Yoite. You don't have much time left. Give me Rokujou Miharu," Yamase-sensei demanded. And as much as Yoite scared me, staying with him was probably preferable. Yamase-sensei had already tried to kill me twice whereas Yoite did not seem to want to do that.

Yoite calmly walked over to the doorway in which Yamase-sensei stood, and kicked him in the chest. Yamase-sensei fell the several feet to the ground and landed in a way that looked painful.

"I can't afford to spend any of my life on you," Yoite stated, simply.

"Maybe if I bring the Shinrabanshou back to the Kairoushuu, they'll give me another chance." I stood and looked out the window to see what was going on. Yamase-sensei was still on the ground, holding his chest, but stood as I watched. "Winning or losing at life depends on how well we put our skills to use. Those who succeed can kill anyone who stand in their way by right. They may be free and do entirely as they wish," Yamase-sensei raised his voice, staring directly at me. "Don't you agree, Rokujou Miharu?" I flinched. "Come with me now, Miharu." He began to walk back to the train doorway. Yoite had been watching silently, still. But now he slowly raised his arm and pointed directly at Yamase-sensei.

I didn't want to see this. I tried to run, but was grabbed from behind by Yoite.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked, quietly. I was dragged to the doorway. I didn't want to see this.

I couldn't watch. I closed my eyes and tried to ignore everything. I felt his grip loosen and dashed to the right, further into the train car, toward the fully broken window that I'd noticed earlier. I lept onto the seat and out the window, landing in a roll. That hurt, but I had to get away. I unconsciously chose to go into the bamboo forest rather than back the way we'd come. For one thing, Yoite was still over there. For another, so was Yamase.

I ran as fast as I could. The ground was uneven and I almost tripped, but I kept going. Despite how ill he looked, I knew Yoite could move quickly if he wanted. I'd seen him jump a large distance back at the village of the Fuma.

From behind, I heard the sound of bamboo clanking together, as if it had just been shaken. Then again.

And then, suddenly, Yoite was in front of me. I stopped as quickly as I could. I hadn't gotten that far at all.

I was prepared to run off in another direction, or duck or something, but instead of attacking or trying to grab me as I'd expected, Yoite collapsed against a stalk of bamboo, coughing so much that his hat fell off. He wiped the back of his hand against his mouth and it came away red. I could not take my eyes off the blood on his face. I hadn't quite realized until then that he was so ill. He looked sick, of course, but I hadn't realized how bad it was.

"You're as dead as I am inside," he said. "You have three options. Option one: you remove the Shinrabanshou from yourself and whatever happens after is none of your concern. Option two: you use it for yourself. Option three: you help me. You must choose one of the three." I met his eyes, sharply. "However, be warned that if you chose options one or two, I will immediately kill your friends from Banten."

"What?" I asked in shock. "But why?" What reason could he have to hurt them when this concerned me. They didn't have anything to do with it!

"You're so apathetic you wouldn't care enough to do anything about it. Am I wrong?"

"I've never thought about it…" My gaze dropped to the ground. Was he wrong? I remembered Tobari-sensei trying to protect me, Kouichi trying to help, Raimei promising to never betray me. Could I betray her? What could I even do? Nothing. I couldn't do anything even if I wanted to. And there would be no point in revenge if they were killed. It wouldn't help them.

I supposed he wasn't wrong.

"There is really no reason to keep them alive if you don't care about them," Yoite stated. I looked up at him again. He crossed the fingers of his hand the same way I'd seen Tobari-sensei do in the past. "Unseal."

Suddenly my eye was in terrible pain. I threw my hand up to cover it and fell over. It felt like it had when Yoite had hit me with his Kira in the village of the Fuma.

"In the village of the Fuma I attacked you with my Kira technique. I placed part of my life force in your eye at that time. When my body dies, that fragment will die as well. Along with the one who carries it. Your teacher and friend all have such fragments. I hit your teacher with one in the village of the Fuma, and the other two in your room. I can easily call upon the fragments at any time if I thought you were trying to kill me. All four of you would die." He could kill us all that easily. I hadn't known. None of us had. My eye had stopped hurting now, but the memory made it feel like it had not.

"Miharu," Yoite prompted. I looked at him again. He pointed to his eye. "Can you see?"

I could. I guessed that it was his life force blocking my vision and not an actual injury. I could see again, but I didn't feel relieved about it.

"I am the only one who can remove the fragments, removing their control over their host," Yoite explained.

"I can see again…" I said quietly, for Yoite's benefit.

"I don't have long left, just as Yamase said earlier. If you don't master the hijutsu and grant my wish, all of you will die."

'I never really had a choice. I should have known. I can't let anyone die for my sake. That means I have to choose option three. There isn't any choice at all. I have nothing to give them in return for their kindness. I won't let them win me over. It's alright if they hate me for betraying them. I have no right to ask anything of them. None at all.' I pushed myself up off the ground and picked up Yoite's hat. "I choose option three. It seems like the easiest choice." 'They shouldn't even be involved with me to begin with. I won't miss them.' I held his hat out to him.

Rather than taking it, he put his hands on my shoulders and met my eyes. "You cannot let anyone know. We must keep this a secret between the two of us. I will help you with whatever you need until you finally grant my wish. I will make you the king of Nabari, Miharu." He stared at me with such intensity, it was clear how much he cared about his wish, even if he had not gone through all of this to ask for it to be granted.

'He is like me,' I realized. 'He doesn't want to get anyone involved, either. He just has to.'

"Let's head back now," Yoite interrupted my thoughts. "You're friends are probably worried about you."

"Okay."

We began to walk back. Without saying anything, Yoite took a different route than the one we'd taken to get here, not passing the train car. I was grateful for that.

The journey was mostly silent, which gave me a chance to think. It really was like Yoite had said; we were the same kind of empty. A funny way to relate to someone, but it was true. It took me until we got to the town to realize that I wanted to see him again.

'Oh no…' I wanted to be friends with him. That was a bad idea. I couldn't get attached. I couldn't. 'It's too late for that. You have a squish on the person who just threatened to kill everyone you know,' said an unappreciated voice in my head. 'That's not true. I won't get attached.'

We started on the staircase that lead to my house.

"We should continue to gather the kinjutsu with our respective villages for now," Yoite began. "They have abilities regular jutsu do not. I'm sure we can find something to help you control the Shinrabanshou."

"How do you know?" I asked. What if we couldn't?

"The kinjutsu don't utilize the five elements. In that way they are different than regular jutsu. They require the one using them to risk their mind or body. I gained my Kira technique from reading a scroll explaining it. The kinjutsu's power are on an incomparable scale. I'm sure the the hijutsu works very similarly. If it were explained on a scroll, or some other visual form, I'm sure you would be able to handle it." I thought I understood. It was like how I learned the mist veil technique by reading a book. The idea made sense.

We were almost back at my house. I ran up the last few stairs and waited at the top. "So you mean that we should make and instruction manual for the Shinrabanshou out of the kinjutsu?"

"Yes. Just as the Kairoushuu and Fuma are trying to create a way to remove the Shinrabanshou, we'll use the kinjutsu to help you use it." That made sense. Maybe more than creating a way to remove it using the forbidden techniques.

Yoite reached the top of the steps, bending over to catch his breath.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I just have not talked this much in a very long time. I'm worn out." Oh.

"Are you okay?" I asked. To my displeasure, I sounded concerned.

"I'll be fine," Yoite insisted. "We must act normally in our villages. They must not suspect anything."

"Will we see each other again?" I accidentally asked. Worse, I sounded like I wanted that.

"Yeah." Yoite turned to walk back down the stairs. In turn, I walked the last few steps to Grandma's shop.

"'Bye Yoite. I guess I'll see you later." I added.

Yoite stopped, briefly, and turned. "'Bye Miharu." Before he continued down the steps and out of sight.

I watched him go. 'I hope I'll see him soon.' I wasn't allowed to think like that.

I couldn't get attached.

Turning back, I returned to Grandma's restaurant.


End file.
